9 Ways You Can Support A Friend Who Is Grieving Via Text Message
Everyone grieves differently. Some people want to be alone and some want company. When someone you care about is dealing with a loss, it can be challenging to know how best to support them. Knowing what to say and when to stay silent are both equally important in assisting someone who is grieving. Even though we may not fully understand what they’re going through, we can let them know that we care and are there for them when they need us.
There's no right or wrong way to offer support, but it can be difficult to find the perfect words in a moment of grief or shock. Especially when you aren't face-to-face with the person you’re trying to help. Supporting someone during grief can be challenging. But, there are many things you can do to help them move forward and find peace again.
Here are 9 tips on how you can support your friend who is grieving via text message:
1. Offer Simple "I'm thinking of you" Text Messages
Offer simple "I'm thinking of you" text messages. Offering a simple “thinking of you” text message can let them know that you’re there for them. They might be in the midst of a grief “fog” and not even be aware that they need your help. Sending a text that lets them know you are thinking about them can give them a gentle nudge to let them know you are there for them.
2. Tell Them It's Okay Not to Respond To Texts
Some people may feel guilty or obligated to respond to all texts, even if they are in the midst of grief. Let them know that it's okay not to respond to texts.
3. Don’t Assume You Know What They're Going Through - Invite Them To Tell You How They Are Doing
People grieve in many different ways. Some people find it helpful to talk about their grief and others don’t. If your friend is willing to share their experience, listen to what they have to say. Don’t assume you know how they are feeling, invite them to tell you how they are going through the grieving process.
4. Talk About The Person Who Passed - Share Photos & Memories
Honoring the person who passed is a very important step in the grieving process. Talking about the person who passed, sharing memories and sending photos are excellent ways to help your friend feel less isolated while they are grieving.
5. Let Them Know That You Care And Are There For Them
Some people might not want to talk about their loss, but they might still need a shoulder to cry on. Let them know that you care and are there for them if they need you. Let them know that they don’t have to “go it alone.”
6. Offer To Do Chores Or Running Errands
Offer to help with chores or running errands if you are local. Do they need their kids taken to and from school? Pick up dinner for them? Are they weeks behind on laundry and could really use a hand? Does a freshly mopped house help them feel better? Offering support for mundane tasks can be some of the most helpful and powerful things we can do for our friends while they are in active grief.
If you aren’t local, offer to order food for them and have it delivered to their home. Send groceries of staple items (milk, eggs, bread, butter, tub of ice cream) or even things like toilet paper and paper towels are often overlooked while grieving.
Ask permission to make the hard phone calls on their behalf and notify doctors' offices of their person's passing, cancel subscriptions, notify the DMV, etc.
7. Show That You Remember The Person Who Passed
Save the death anniversary and birthdays of the person who passed in your phone calendar. Send a text message on those dates letting them know that you remember the person who passed.
8. Offer Your Friend An Outlet
Some people might be overwhelmed and not even realize it. Offer your friend an outlet, such as journaling or watching movies at their home. Exercising can be a great way to channel emotions and just simply walking around the block to get some sunshine is good for the soul.
You can also ask if it's okay to send funny meme's or tiktok videos to brighten their day and bring them a good laugh!
9. Don't Judge Or Criticize Their Emotions
Some people might feel guilty for having happy or positive thoughts, or they might be feeling “guilty” that they aren’t crying more, or they aren’t grieving in the way that you expect. Grief is a wild experience, and it might look different for everyone. Validate their experience and let them know that it's normal to be all over the place.
Supporting A Grieving Friend is HARD!
Knowing What To Do and What to Say IS HARD! If you need some guidance beyond the above, please ask the person what would be helpful and what is not helpful. They will tell you what they are comfortable with and if something is already being taken care of by someone else.
The most important thing you can do, is show up in your friends inbox and continue to offer small bits of support - not just right after their person died but for months after. Grief is a long haul process and doesn’t end when the service is over.
Begin Grief Counseling in The Bay Area
Being there for loved ones can feel impossible when taking distance into account. But, A grief counselor can offer remote support in the Bay Area and across California, and help you better cope with loss. I’m happy to offer support from my Bay Area-based practice, and across California. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
Schedule your first appointment with a grief therapist
Start making the most of your time with loved ones
Other Services Offered With Bay Area Therapy for Wellness
Grief counseling isn’t the only service I offer from my Bay Area-based therapy practice. I am happy to also offer family therapy and support for caregivers and those living with chronic illnesses. I also offer depression treatment and anxiety treatment. Feel free to visit my blog for more helpful information!
